Strangeness

People envy my life?! Woah. I am blessed. I know that. I am very thankful for all of the things I have in my life. There is that saying it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I do believe this. Sometimes I don't want anyone to have to go through what I have endured but then again, they never will have found love. Love is awesome. Especially when you are with someone who loves you no matter how big a dumb ass you can be. That they can forgive you for all of your indiscretions and love you and all of your imperfections. I find that I miss his idiosyncrasies the most. I miss our heated debates. He even laughed at me once and was like, you just like to start arguments don't you? Yes, I am an argumentative person and you play along with me and its great. He could challenge my thoughts and it helped me grow as a person. Isn't life about learning, growing, and love? I like to think so.

Yes I am spoiled. My family and friends spoil me. Adam still spoils me rotten. The thing is, I wouldn't trade my life with anyone else I know. I have it good. Would be way better with Adam, he was the one who always reminded me why I should continue to move forward, and he still does in a different way. I even hear his "I told you so." ringing in my ears when I come to a realization about a certain situation. Damn, he did call that one.

I guess this leads me to something else... they say a dying man tells no lies. Adam said something very specific about my future. He was in a dazed state when he said it. I mull these words over in my head a lot and they give me comfort. I hope his premonition is correct. Fingers Crossed!