Movement

Slowly been making progress in my life. Still sticking to the original goals even though the timeline is totally screwed up. 10 months behind. I am trying to move things along and finding strength within myself to push towards our dreams. I am still here and every word he spoke, dream he dreamed, want... was not in vain. I'm doing it baby and I know you are by my side even if its not in a physical capacity.

There are some issues I am just trying to prove to myself and the universe that I can get something I really want and short of my own death, I won't be stopped. Which it does cross my mind, holy crap the universe is gonna kill me to prove a point that control really is just an illusion. damn. Then I think that is just horse crap and refocus my attention on achieving my goal and satisfying my desire.


I am finding the old me again. Which is awesome! So many lose themselves in this journey or decide to create a whole new identity. Maybe proof to my laziness? loyalty? stubbornness? Whatever it maybe, I am finding my way back to myself. I have new found information that has provided a clearer outlook on life. Like proof to an idea I had before that I struggled to do so often. Which is... don't sweat the small stuff and laugh it off when you can. Adam made it easier to do but now I can do with ease on my own. Someone not holding a door open for you is funny and not offensive. I was raised with manners be a gentleman and hold the door for a lady! Then I picture them being raised by wolves or growing up in a barn or by some yokel and I just laugh. Though a southern yokel would have raised their child to be polite and courteous. I saw Beverly Hillbillies!


So things are moving in the right direction even if not at the pace I prefer. I hope the next week solidifies one of my objectives that should cause a domino effect to other key desires. Fingers crossed

Steve Jobs and My Apple Geek

This is hitting me rather hard. Adam LOVED apple. I got him ipods for christmas and birthdays. One of those bad gut feelings I had was if he got the iphone he would leave me. We talked about it and he didnt get an iphone because it really did concern me. Then on my birthday, 5 days after he was diagnosed with cancer he broke his Razor. He puppy dog eyed me and convinced me that he should have a new iphone. I told him I really felt like he would leave me shortly after getting it. He said not to worry, he had cancer and well.. I didnt need to worry. He died a few weeks later. I was right, he left me. :(

Adam followed all the big tech blogs and even found a crack in the apple software to find a new product that was going to be made available before it was released. The stock shot up once all the tech blogs were talking about the new upgrade. See my geeky friend post, I have the links there. I knew for his graduation gift I was going to get him an imac. My cousin and him chit chatted about various apple products. He even had times he gushed about the ipad with his son. He was smiling ear to ear knowing his boy was an apple enthusiast like him. All the apple talk drove me a little mad at times but it was something he was passionate about so you just go with it.

Now Steve Jobs is dead and from cancer no less. Just goes to show how indiscriminate cancer can be. Even if you have all the money in the world, it really is just luck if you beat it or not. I have believed for awhile that if we had millions and billions at our disposal, maybe he would have survived. Maybe he would have gotten a little bit more time? Money cant buy you a long life it seems. These are just my thoughts and I may disagree with them at another time in the future so dont hold me to these. Truth be told we are just lucky to have a crack at this life. Some more fortunate than others. Death really is the ultimate equalizer.

So thank you Mr. Jobs for everything you have done in your lifetime. You changed the world in so many ways. You touched us and made our home a happy geeky place. May you find peace and comfort in the next life. If possible can you work with God in making an app where we can stay in better contact with our lost loved ones?