So here I am. I have survived 6 months without my best friend. He was far more than that, but words really do fall short when trying to describe what someone really means to you. I used to bug him all the time, "What do you love most about me?" He would always reply, "Everything."At the time that answer annoyed me. I needed details, but I get it now. I love everything about him, problems and all. He really did teach me about unconditional love. I thank him for that over and over.
My mind cannot comprehend the injustice of his death. I have come to terms that acceptance will never happen. Honestly I don't ever want to accept it. He was right, no one will ever be able to live up to him. I get that on sooooo many levels now. Pissed me off before, actually hurt my feelings, I thought he was insinuating I could never find another to love me. I could, but it'll never be to the caliber that he loved me and I could never love anyone more than I love him. Okay...too gushy even for my taste....
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This is my first Christmas without him. Every tradition I had before is out the window. I watched the Community Christmas special and maybe that will be my new tradition. Highly recommend you watching it. Community Claymation Christmas
I just stumbled across your blog... I'm approaching the six month mark in about two weeks. It just seems so surreal.I just don't know how I've survived six months. I haven't been able to read all your posts yet, but my husband was killed in and unjust way too and it seems that no matter what manner of death, loosing the love of your life is incomprehensible. Sending love and thoughts your away.
ReplyDeleteI've been reading over your blog and so glad I stumbled across it. I almost feel like I'm reading about myself as I can relate to you on sooo many levels. It is comforting in a sense (as crazy as this sounds) to find others who "get it".
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