Oh I know it started weeks ago but I am just now realizing that it is spring. My mind has been racing all over the place. Trying to figure things out. Make sense of the insensible. I have my moments of tears. Lately I find myself sitting outside watching the lizards and birds. I prefer them to tv and human interactions. I feel distant from the world. Frustrated maybe. I am moving at a much slower pace and its just annoying that everyone else is go-go-go. They have no clue...
I am rounding the corner to closing out that last year of my life. Meaning my birthday is looming and the anniversary of his death. Time will not stop or skip over those days and I have no other choice but to live through them. I am anxious. I feel I will be faced with another disappointment. I just want THIS whole thing to be over.
Adam, sweetheart, if you can hear me... please hurry up and get me. I just wanna be with you and no one else. Make my world really stop now. I love you and miss you.
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