I am in a place of complete and utter shock. Today is 11 months since Adam left our world. 3 days ago a very dear friend joined him. Two men I was planning on growing old with. Playing out in my head all the jokes I would lay out on them as their hairlines receded and turned grey. Poking their swollen bellies plumped up from a lifetime of eating junk food. I would imagine us sitting by the beach looking out onto the Pacific reflecting on our lives. Now these two beautiful souls are gone.
These guys got to spend the rest of their lives with the women that they loved. In a sense they are two very lucky bastards. The downside is that they didn't get to do it for half a century or more as planned, just barely a decade. Where once this world seemed perfect, it is now purgatory for us left behind. Glimmers of hope will shine upon us from time to time, but the lives we wanted with the men we loved are forever gone.
I hope they are up in 'heaven' drinking a beer, chit chatting, scratching their heads as much as we are down here about being separated. One of my top priorities when I die is to slap both of these guys silly. Like really guys? Really? 28 and 31...really? 21st and 24th REALLY? You both just HAD to go around the same time of the month, same time of the year, within a year of each other. Really?!? Ugh!!
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