I Feel....Hope

I donno. I feel like if I say anything I may jinx what is going...what I hope is going to happen. I have felt good, I don't want this to be some illusion to help me cope. I miss Adam so much it hurts. Right now I have a calmness in myself and so much hope that I could explode. I look to the heavens every night and pray that this is truth and not a lie. I want to explode, but no one cares or wants to hear what I think anymore. So I am just blurting out to the internet void now just to get it out of me. Pray for me that this thing I feel is true.